AmyHuang
Accidentally in LOOOVE
I thought I’d have a bit of fun by going back to my very first topic “Why we travel?” – I had mentioned that we travel because it’s like falling in love, being curious of what it’s like stepping into another world, another culture, not quite understanding the language but it’s just so much fun we keep going back for more.
Well, yesterday I was lying in bed and I thought about this whole thing (funny how ideas always comes to mind when you are just about to fall asleep, when it is inconvenient to get up again to write them down!) – I, for one, have been IN LOVE when I have travelled. MANY TIMES. It’s almost like ticking off my to-do list: Get a boy. Tick. Most of these love affairs ended either in mutual understanding or one-sided heartaches, and being the traveller, I was probably getting the upper hand.
So we love to travel because it’s an experience that takes us out of the norm to meet people from all over the world just as curious to find out about us as we are about them. It is inevitable that we are going to be tempted to just give it a try, to see what it is like to be with a person so different, yet so exotic than our average Bobs, (No offence to anyone named Bob. It’s just a figure of speech really) and I mean, we are still human right? And having a local boyfriend is the perfect way to get into the culture and learn all its ways.
Ok, I am sounding like a tart. I really am not. I am just pointing out the obvious. It’s not like I travel for that single purpose of meeting single males, I just happen to know people like me who have been in that situation and some have end up with their life long partners, some drift from place to place still searching for The One.
Let’s face it. As much as it sounds exciting and exotic, there are certain aspects of relationship that we don’t think about when you are madly in love in a foreign country and when all you think about is your next shag. The reality is, when it gets too serious, one of you eventually will have to make the ultimate life decision. Where do you go to settle down?
As long as you are in love, it doesn’t matter where you go you’ll just need to work together and it’ll work. Now, that’s romanticising things. One of you still need to decide. Do you ask your partner to ‘come home’ with you, or do you stay in their country? That’s a decision. One day, the person who’s made the sacrifice will miss their family and their way of life, and will want to go back to their country, do you go with them? Do they speak the language? Do you speak the language? Is the person who is making the move going to be able to find a job? It all sounds so serious, but it’s not non-sense. There is a lot to think about.
There is also the cultural gap. As much as we (women in general) like to think things will always work out, it doesn’t. Different gender has different roles in society in different cultures and sometimes, you just can’t work them out. What we western society thinks how a relationship should be, doesn’t mean the same in another society, and there is no right way of doing things. For the first couple of month everything might be a novelty, but after a long time, are you still going to feel the same?
Sorry, I have just torn apart everything romantic about falling in love whilst travelling. It doesn’t mean it can’t happen, it all just require a lot of compromise and understand, or, find a fellow traveller who is from the same part of the world as you are, at least in the end, you know you are both going to return home to the same place.
Well, yesterday I was lying in bed and I thought about this whole thing (funny how ideas always comes to mind when you are just about to fall asleep, when it is inconvenient to get up again to write them down!) – I, for one, have been IN LOVE when I have travelled. MANY TIMES. It’s almost like ticking off my to-do list: Get a boy. Tick. Most of these love affairs ended either in mutual understanding or one-sided heartaches, and being the traveller, I was probably getting the upper hand.
So we love to travel because it’s an experience that takes us out of the norm to meet people from all over the world just as curious to find out about us as we are about them. It is inevitable that we are going to be tempted to just give it a try, to see what it is like to be with a person so different, yet so exotic than our average Bobs, (No offence to anyone named Bob. It’s just a figure of speech really) and I mean, we are still human right? And having a local boyfriend is the perfect way to get into the culture and learn all its ways.
Ok, I am sounding like a tart. I really am not. I am just pointing out the obvious. It’s not like I travel for that single purpose of meeting single males, I just happen to know people like me who have been in that situation and some have end up with their life long partners, some drift from place to place still searching for The One.
Let’s face it. As much as it sounds exciting and exotic, there are certain aspects of relationship that we don’t think about when you are madly in love in a foreign country and when all you think about is your next shag. The reality is, when it gets too serious, one of you eventually will have to make the ultimate life decision. Where do you go to settle down?
As long as you are in love, it doesn’t matter where you go you’ll just need to work together and it’ll work. Now, that’s romanticising things. One of you still need to decide. Do you ask your partner to ‘come home’ with you, or do you stay in their country? That’s a decision. One day, the person who’s made the sacrifice will miss their family and their way of life, and will want to go back to their country, do you go with them? Do they speak the language? Do you speak the language? Is the person who is making the move going to be able to find a job? It all sounds so serious, but it’s not non-sense. There is a lot to think about.
There is also the cultural gap. As much as we (women in general) like to think things will always work out, it doesn’t. Different gender has different roles in society in different cultures and sometimes, you just can’t work them out. What we western society thinks how a relationship should be, doesn’t mean the same in another society, and there is no right way of doing things. For the first couple of month everything might be a novelty, but after a long time, are you still going to feel the same?
Sorry, I have just torn apart everything romantic about falling in love whilst travelling. It doesn’t mean it can’t happen, it all just require a lot of compromise and understand, or, find a fellow traveller who is from the same part of the world as you are, at least in the end, you know you are both going to return home to the same place.
